We all, at one time or another, want or need a change. Life can begin to feel dry, plastic, and routine. Or go to the other extreme of chaotic, drama-filled, and lack peace. Either can make us want to do something different – anything different. So we make a change. Yet, what we find after the excitement of the new job, location, or relationship wears off, we find ourselves in the very same type of scenario just with new characters.
Because we carry ourselves with us wherever we go and, until we unpack and understand our inner world, we will continue to live out the same pattern.
When individuals and couples come to see me for counseling or coaching, I begin by exploring the areas that aren’t going well. These areas usually indicate how they are living and the choices they are making aren’t aligning with their core values.
How do you make the choices that will bring sustainable positive changes in your life? It all comes down to awareness of values. In these next few posts, I’m going to explore the process of change – so I invite you to come along with me.
Let’s start with continuing to explore the first level of growth: self-awareness
In my previous post, I outlined the different aspects of what self-awareness includes. Today, I will go deeper into one of the self-awareness components – VALUES.
Values release tremendous potential for success and happiness. Living life in line with what we value is important for a sense of well being while living a life that violates our values can lead to frustration and depression. Our values are the deepest, most powerful forces in our lives. Being aware of your values allows you to have a check point to evaluate if you are living in the unaware “should” life verses the intentional, value-aligned “aware” life.
Discovering Your Core Values
These are the significant, personal values you fully embrace and hold as your intrinsic truth. Knowing your values and their hierarchy helps you know how to be true to yourself in decision making. For instance, if your first priority is “being there for your family,” but when struggles and issues arise that derail each and everyone one of us, we start living in a way to just get by. These urgent matters take way from the important dimensions which aligns with our core values. We start living in a manner that is unsatisfying and dull. The benefit of aligning your life with your core values is the release of creativity, energy, and satisfaction. When you are living according to your core values, your potential for living the aware life is maximized.
One way to check if you are living according to your values is to check your energy. When you aren’t sure about a decision or you want to make sure you are living a life that is aligned authentically with who you are, I suggest you take a moment and check-in with how you feel.
Ask yourself these questions:
Is your energy positive and productive?
Do you feel like you are in your zone?
Do you feel sad, fatigued or sluggish?
Are you feeling unmotivated and procrastinate?
These questions are good indicators to establish if you are or aren’t congruent with the core areas of self-awareness.
What are your values? And are you living aligned to them? If not, then what do you want to change?
Attached is a Self-Assessment from my book Messy Intentionality which will soon to be released. Do the exercise and see what insight you gain.
Click the link below