I wrote Messy Intentionality as the second edition of Finding Me Again, but it took on a whole new form and became a book in itself. There were aspects of Finding Me Again that I felt fell short. Thus, Messy Intentionality was born.

You don’t have to live very long on this earth to realize life can get pretty messy. We all encounter trauma, heartbreak, loss, and grief. We are messy as much as we are human. Self-Awareness is the antidote to the unhealthy messiness in each of our lives. To tap into the aware life, we must take the risk to be present, pay attention, and always, always, move forward.

Antoine de Saint-Exupéry penned, “If you want to build a ship…. teach them to long for the immensity of the sea.” I believe if I want to help others live a fulfilled life then I must teach them to long for the aware life. I want my readers to long for self-awareness – and the successful living that follows the self-aware life. And I wish for Messy Intentionality to be the guidebook on their journey.


Here is an excerpt from Messy Intentionality: The Imperfect Journey to Self-Awareness, coming soon! Enjoy!!

Courage is the attribute required to change, to live differently, and to be more present in our everyday life. Courage is faith in action. It is faith that our life can be more fulfilling and much more authentic. Life can surely test us—illness, losing a loved one, loss of a relationship, or healing from past abuse or addiction. Courage is what it takes to put the action in the healing. The real test of courage is to choose to live fully in an enlarged life, not slumbering in a cocoon of indifference. Our first step in climbing toward action for change is self-awareness. Self-awareness has many avenues, yet the one consistent thread in all the avenues is intentionality!

Recently, I took some time off work to have a modified sabbatical. I felt burned out, and I needed a break. Have you ever felt that way? I took off for the place that rejuvenates me more than any other place I know—the Rocky Mountains. One day, I went for a long hike with my dog—Clay. My intent was to listen quietly to my inner self. To eliminate the noise and listen to what my soul desired. What I heard from my soft inner voice was just STOP! Just stop! I waited longer until I could fully grasp what I needed. What I heard was more profound and simpler than I expected: “Life opens up in the present—not in the future, and not in the past.”

Life Opens Up in the Present- Nancy S. Kay-Messy Intentionality

My soul beckoned me to stop, be present—be aware—live in the here and now. I needed to see who I was, feel what I was feeling, and carve out the time to be fully present. I had to intentionally let go and let whatever needed to happen—happen. If that was to lose a relationship, take more time for myself, recognize my shortcomings, mend a hurt, be less selfish, or take a risk, then I had to do it. I had to respond and embrace my fear. The fear of disappointing those I care for and grapple with their possible disapproval. I also had to accept the fear of seeing myself differently. Letting my wounded ego die. My false-self begrudgingly moved over to make room for my true-self. Demanding courage and risk.

Our false-self is the characteristics and beliefs we function from when we feel insecure. The true-self is like a baby learning to walk—falling with every other step he takes. Continuing to get back up and walk again. It’s courage that keeps us from being victim to our failures. Just like the toddler, we must be courageous and walk again.

If we desire perfection and put demands on ourselves to be faultless, we will create a certain plan for a stressful and unhappy life. Having the courage to accept yourself fully as less than perfect is the first step in change. Courage facilitates the desire to be present, to hear our inner voice, and to move forward. It’s the ability to experience our self and others in the moment. We see things as they are; not how we dreamed them to be. We’re awake and alert to what is before us. We’re more emotionally and spiritually awake than we ever thought we could be.

Wholehearted living focuses on being fully aware and in the present; we can appreciate life—our life—for whatever it is. We experience more positive emotions and have less guilt, shame, and regrets.


Thank you so much for reading.

Messy Intentionality will be in print and available for sale October 28th, at the RESET Revolution event at which I am presenting. I will be hosting a Book Launch Party that evening in Fayetteville, AR at the beautiful Garden Room on Dickson. I would like to invite you to come meet me and fellow self-awareness seekers.

If you would like to pre-order your copy send me an email at nancy@gracecounselingservice.com. Messy Intentionality will be available on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and iBooks later this Fall.

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